Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
