just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
