I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
