Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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