thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
