Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.

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(419): View more from Ohio

two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome

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(480): View more from Arizona

oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone

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(313): View more from Michigan

Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me

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(705): View more from Ontario

And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab

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(313): View more from Michigan

At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.

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(305): View more from Florida

Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.

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