Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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