There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
