I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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