we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
