Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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