Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
