I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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