There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
