i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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