Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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