don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
