Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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