She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I think my moral compass just broke
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
