I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
