so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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