I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
