I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Too much gin, very little bucket
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
