So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
