I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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