Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Semen is not good for contacts.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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