Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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