Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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