i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Someone came in the potted fern
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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