Where is the hickey?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
