# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
