You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
