i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
YAS. BRING CRAB.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
