So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm at about main and main street
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
