Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
