I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
