Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
