apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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