Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
