Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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