chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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