i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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