Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
