i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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