Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
