Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
