i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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