I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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