She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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