you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
