Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
